February 08 Kandili Article
A MESSAGE FROM FATHER LOU
“I Am the Resurrection and the Life”
The above title is a reference to our Lord Jesus Christ and part of a quotation, the complete text of which is : “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” (John 11:25-26) These powerful words of our Lord are indeed a reassurance to all of us as we face the death of loved ones and in turn, our own mortality. Recently we have experienced several deaths within our Parish as well as the passing away of parents and family members of parishioners. As most of you know my own mother, Esther recently passed away after a lengthy illness. I have chosen to share some of my personal feelings with you relative to my mother’s passing as this month’s article.Throughout my years as a priest I have had the occasion to experience death in a wide variety of circumstances, from tragic losses of infants, to murders, to sudden deaths, to death after prolonged illnesses, to peaceful deaths in old age. In each of these situations, I had the opportunity to share with family and friends in the sorrow, pain and loss of a loved one – at times for hours, other times for days, weeks, months, and even years. In each case the words of John 11:25-26, have provided me the hope that I attempted to pass on in this ministry through care, word or deed. There is certainly an emptiness, a sadness that accompanies such a loss. Since I am presently going through this, I can state that it is different than when I am ministering to others. When I am ministering I can “empathize” with others, with their “pathos”, their pain. I can try to relate to it from similar or previous experiences. Now, I can “sympathize” because I am there, I am in the sadness, the emptiness. But for sure the hope is still there. What would we do if we did not have Jesus? What would we do if we did not believe in His Resurrection, in His Pascha (Passover) from death to life and in turn His promise of that same resurrection for those who accept and believe in Him? Nevertheless, in the midst of the hope of the promise of God’s loving presence, we still grieve. In the words of Saint Paul, “But we would not have you ignorant, brothers and sisters, concerning those who are asleep that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” (I Thes. 4:13) Paul does not tell us not to grieve. To not grieve when we lose someone so dear to us is not natural, it’s not loving. We grieve because God did not intend there to be death. Our hope is in the Resurrection not only of the soul, but also of the body at the second coming of Jesus. Our hope is in our belief that we are united, through Christ with our loved ones now and that we will in some manner be reunited with them then. Nevertheless, the separation is so painful. Almost unconsciously my mind has gone back to my childhood, to my mother who gave me life, who nurtured me, who held me. More recently, in the past four months, particularly after she moved to Denver, I had an opportunity to care for her, to nurture her, to hold her. And even though we all feel OK about her passing because she has suffered a lot and we feel she is much better with our Loving Lord, it still hurts deeply.
My point in sharing this? I just wanted to tell you how I felt. I wanted to thank you for your love, care and concern. I wanted to share these feelings for the sake of others who have, or will go though the grief of the loss of loved ones. By the way, that’s all of us. Be patient with them. Be patient with me. Our culture, our attitude of life is very impatient. The general expectations are for people to get on with life as quickly as possible. Psychology tells us that grief is a process that takes time in order to work through a variety of emotions before acceptance is achieved. The ancient cultures mourn for a year or more. Within our own Orthodox tradition we mourn for 40 days, then have a memorial service allowing family and friends to offer corporately their love to God on behalf of their loved one. This also allows for support and love to be given to the family by the congregation and friends. We often repeat this at six months and then for sure at the year anniversary. We then pray for them in the Saturdays of the Souls and as often, corporately as we desire. I pray personally for my mother and father, my grandparents and other deceased family members daily. We are one in Christ through prayer.
Thank you for your prayers. Please keep our mother, Esther (Lambrini) and our family in your prayers. Please keep others who have lost loved ones, and their loved ones lost in your prayers. We commend them into God’s loving, caring and life giving hands, but we also miss them greatly.
His grace and mercy be with you always,
Fr Lou